Married Through Money
Today we bring you an awesome guest post from James Paul, a financial blogger who writes about financial wellness topics and the integration of money matters into life. His personal finance blog Basic Finance Care helps people optimize their finances and tackle money management.
He’s going to talk about money, love and the questions to ask before getting hitched. What better way to start February, the month of love?
Without further ado….
Married Through Money
I know I am going to raise a few eyebrows when I decided to name the post Married Through Money.
Questions such as, does this guy believe in institution of marriage? Does money matters in marriage? Does this person know that there is something called “Love” exists?
Well, boys and girls I do believe in Institution of marriage and love but I named this article on purpose.
It is a beautiful feeling when you fall in love and also a beautiful experience when you say “I do” before your clan. But sustaining this wonderful bond is a herculean effort.
The path you travel will not be smooth; there will be a lot of speed bumps and potholes which you have to carefully endeavour. Holding your loved one and travelling this path as a couple will make your bond and you stronger.
This article will give you an insight on what you have to ask your significant other before saying those two fateful words.
Financial Questions to ask your better half before you get married
Both of you should be on the same page when it comes to handling your finances to be a successful couple. How to identify the money related behaviours of your significant other?
The answer to the questions is simple and straightforward. Ask a few questions and the answers let you decide your further course of action.
- How often do you make late payments of bills and loans? Have you defaulted before?
- You see an attractive item; do you buy it immediately or you think before you buy?
- How important was money in your childhood?
- If you go to your dad and say that you want to start a business. What will he say? Will you discuss your business ideas and plans with your parents?
- Who is your financial and investment planner? Why you chose them to be one?
- What did you spend your bonus on?
- What you did to be successful? What is your take on success?
- Let’s say you suffered a financial loss. What will you do? Moreover, how will recover from it?
- What do you want to be after 10 years of our marriage? What are your plans for our future?
- What are your financial commitments? What will it be after 10 years?
- How do you choose your investment plans and how often do you invest?
- How do you update yourself on the latest investment plan?
Imagine you are asking the above questions to your partner sitting seashore enjoying the sunset or on a café overlooking the Alps.
If they answer these questions honestly and to your satisfaction, and everything else is kosher, they might be the right person for you.
If their answers are not satisfactory, this is a good time to discuss the differences and find a solution before walking through down the aisle.
If this exercise ends well, this tells you that the significant other will discuss their problems related to money with you honestly and openly.
They are open to suggestions and will listen to your ideas and advice when they need to. They are also knowledgeable enough to give you advice, and will be a strong team member, which will help you feel less stressed. This paves way for a healthy relationship.
Conversations like these will help you in weathering financial droughts and holding on to each other.
There can be many reasons for divorce these days, and money is one of the major reasons.
Any dream shattered is not a good sight, and when the biggest dream of marriage is shattered; it not only shatters you, but also the people around you.
Therefore, you have to be extra careful when you make the decision of your lifetime.
Study says one of the most predominant reason for divorce is mishandling of finances.
If the significant other is a spend thrift then your future might be bleak whereas when they are a cheapskate your present happiness might go for a toss.
Both the extremes will not result in successful marriage. It is about spending the right amount at the right point of time, and finding that happy medium.
To sum up, when you decide to fall in love, and want to be happily married; always remember to ask the questions.
The above conversation is very important before you enter the wedding vows because the outcome of it is going to define your course of life.
Remember the decision is always yours and do not let money be a reason for breaking the beautiful bond.
We really love this article and the questions suggested. We discussed all those 12 questions before getting engaged to make sure we are financially compatible.
We also had some discussions that did not go well, such as our lotto discussion that turned into a big fight. However, we learned a few lessons from that and moved forward even stronger.
We also had to really go into details when we decided to buy a house together a few months before getting married. We had to fill out the mortgage application and list our exact assets, liabilities, incomes, …
Our advice is to have these discussions and/or fights, and have them early. Remember, money does not buy you happiness, but happiness can bring you money/financial freedom. Keep your marriage and bank healthy and happy 😊.
What about you guys? What financial discussions did you have before getting married? How early did you have them? How did it go?
Thanks for reading. Please feel free to comment, share and subscribe! We love ya and wanna get to know ya!
Don’t forget to check out James’ personal finance blog Basic Finance Care .
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I’m so glad my wife and I are on board together financially. We also made sure to discuss financials before we got married, and continue to keep each other up to date on all things financial at least once a month.
Yes, continuing the monthly and annual conversations is important to make sure you stay on track.
Good, comprehensive list. We talked about those questions too. If your partner/potential spouse is not comfortable discussing the finances, they might be hiding something maybe? That should be a red flag.
So true, they might be hiding something. Couples in a serious relationship headed towards marriage, should be comfortable discussing finances.
Thank you for bringing this up. I know money and marriage can be a potential taboo subject, but as you stated, money fights have risen to be the predominant reason for divorces. It definitely needs to be discussed by partners before they say “I do.” After you fully commit to another person, everything you both own is linked after that.
It may hurt at first to ask the questions, but your relationship will benefit for the better after that.
Yes, the relationship should get stronger after the talk 🙂
Well, our main objective then was to buy our own house in three years and we did that. We were really doing really well with saving money while renting a small apartment in the suburb of Chicago. As soon as we bought the house, my wife became pregnant things started to change. Not saving money as much, and mortgage payment was almost double our rent. So we had to make a few changes here and there. It’s all about communication and focusing on a common goal.
Yes, communication, adaptablity, team work,…help